Suddenly I See

Thursday, November 19, 2015


Our first month home with Ellie is kind of a blur at this point. It seems like a long time ago, it seems like Ellie has always been with us.

I remember a lot of cuddling and realizing how amazing it is to snuggle with your own baby. That first morning home I layed on the couch in my robe and just held Ellie close. She slept on me and I realized this was going to be one of my favorite things as a mother. This little being trusts you with everything and feels comfortable enough to just sleep on you.

Rodger had two weeks off after Ellie was born (one of which we spent in the hospital) so he was home with us and took good care of us. Our families came over on the first weekend home and brought food and assitance. I also remember how much Ellie used her hands and it made sense why I didn't felt that many hard kicks but just movements. She was probably just moving her hands a lot. We were able to nap and visit and share our baby with everyone. Ellie had her first doctor appointment and I got to eat sushi for the first time in ten months. It was every bit as good as I remembered.

I dreaded Rodger going back to work becuase I knew it was going to be hard to take care of Ellie alone and I didn't want to be lonely. I spent the week with my Mom and my sister. Ellie and I hung out a couple of days at my Mom's and Rodger picked us up on the way home. One day Vickie picked us up and we went to Target and back to her house. It was so sweet to watch her take care of Ellie. I observed her and still do things that I saw her do that day. I remember her saying "Babies love butt pats" and I think about that every time that I pat Ellie on the butt. And she does love it. It was a special week.

During our second week home Ellie's umbilical cord fell off and we gave her her first first bath. I don't think she loved it but she sure loves them now.

After that I tried to stay home with Ellie and take care of her on my own. We had some visitors and my Mom came by quite a bit to help us.

Towards the end of August my friend Leslie encouraged me to give breastfeeding another try. I had been nervous about doing it because if it didn't work I felt like I was teasing Ellie with something that she couldn't have. But when I did try again it just worked. That's not to say it was simple and easy. It was painful and we had to work together but she was able to latch. It would be a couple of weeks before she was off formula entirely and exclusively breast fed but towards the end of August was when we got it going. (I plan to do a post about breast feeding as it has and continues to be an amazing journey and learning experience). Ellie also stopped wanting her pacifier around this time. I still work on her taking it but not sure why I am trying to force the issue. She seems pretty pleased sucking on her fingers.

August was the start of some very hot months so Ellie was pretty much in onesies all the time. Up until the last couple of weeks she hasn't really known cold (or cooler) weather for any significant period of time. So we are loving that now.

Rodger and I spent much of August just at home. We switched off holding the baby, I pumped a lot (until I started breastfeeding), I recovered from my c-section, we both fussed over Ellie, I worried about her stuffy nose (at first misidentified as something in her chest until I sent everyone in my family a video of it and they let me know it was her nose, and she still has a stuffy nose), Ellie started growing, she enjoyed her first "stroll" around the neighborhood, Rodger changed a lot of diapers and did a lot of laundry and cleaning, and we watched a lot of "The Office" on Netflix. It was kind of an emotional time for Rodger and I as life changed so much, even for the better, but it was change and that can be hard. We grew closer and we all three loved on each other with a lot of Kona's kisses interspersed.

August was a special month, a very sweet time. It's crazy to think that by next August Ellie will be walking. They grow in such a hurry, as we are already finding out.

First day home, Kona was protective right way
Meeting cousin Olivia for the first time

Best friends already

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First morning home, snuggly, snuggly

First doctor's visit, one week check-up
First bath.



Jenn said...

My heart just exploded! Love you both!

Eliza said...

Yay!!! Soooo sweet. That first month--there's nothing like it.

I am so happy and excited that the work of breastfeeding yielded such great results for you. It is so satisfying even though it is hard at times. I love you guys!