I have come to discover that listening is an art. And there are people who truly are artists when it comes to listening. Truly listening. I don't think I am really one of those people. It's not that I don't care about what people are saying, it's just that when they are saying it I already have a lot of questions to ask about what they are saying. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but it probably doesn't allow me to listen to what people are saying, almost like what I have to say next is just as important as what they are saying. I definitely have the courage to speak my mind part down pat. No problems there- could probably do with a little less of that actually. But what other people have to say is just as important as what I have to say. And it is so important to remember that sometimes people just getting out their thoughts is more important than anything you might say back to them.
I hold on to feelings- I am sensitive- I can't let things go- if something bothers me it will bother me for a long time- if someone I love is sad then I am in the trenches with them. The feelings come very quickly but they don't go at the same speed.
I remember someone told me something once that just clicked to me. They were telling me a story about a family member and everyone in the family knew the woman had some mental issues and that how she felt didn't make a lot of sense, but her brother would remind people that just because her feelings didn't make sense to anyone else didn't make them wrong. She still felt that way. And her feelings mattered. That sentiment has really helped me a lot. Because when things don't make sense to me it is helpful to remember that everyone's feelings are valid to themselves.
Exactly. Or as my therapist has told me- "you are where you are for a reason, and once you can't be there any more you won't be".