Suddenly I See

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Like Her

I want to be like her
I want to laugh like her
love like her
be the wife she is
have her compassion
her wit
her selflessness
her patience

more than anything I want, one day, to be the mother she is
if I can be the kind of the mother she is then I will have made it

She gives everything to her daughters, always has
I want to be like that
I want to have the bond she has with us
the bond that has us calling her every time something happens in our day, she's the first person I want to tell everything to, no one will care more than her
I want that connection with my children

The connection that has you texting each other about American Idol (and her great love for Adam), the Biggest Loser, country music, and anything and everything
The connection that allows me to know, the way she does, when something is wrong with my children and to know what to do to make it better, whether it be dinner, shopping, gin rummy, or a clean house

I want the strength she has
the one where when she found out she had cancer she was more worried about the way her family would feel than the way she felt
she was strong for us, which gave us the ability to be strong for her, although I needed more of her strength as we sat in the waiting room during her surgery. I need her then, everything is okay when she is there, I can survive anything with her there. But she did well, teaching us all so much
she should have been selfish then, it was her time, but still she called me from the hospital not ten hours after her surgery to make sure that I got home okay
that's the love and strength I hope to have as a mother one day

The advice, I hope to be able to give the advice she gives
"Men are different than women, they don't express their feelings the same way." I think she tells me this weekly, I need this reminder
And of course, the funny
"It's okay that you are sunburned, it looks like you have been somewhere"

I want to celebrate my children's milestones and accomplishments
to bring them flowers at school on their birthdays and cupcakes to their classrooms
to run and give them a hug after they do good at a swim meet

I want my children to know I love them the way I know my sister and I are loved by our mother
I want to tell them every morning when they are little, the way she did and still does, that they look pretty
I want to pick them up from school every day, help them with their homework, take them to swim practice, never miss a swim meet, when they are in high school I want to bring them Gatorade and a snack to their swim meets, and pick them up when the bus brings them back
I want to plan fun vacations with them and make them know that there is no place I would rather be
I want to spend everyday of Christmas break with them watching movies, shopping, and baking and tell them that I hate when they go back to school because I miss them

I want to teach them
the right way to treat people, to treat themselves
to love animals
how to make snickerdoodles
how to make Macaroni and Cheese with Spam
to celebrate
to open your heart
to let things go
that you can't change people
to love reading
to accept people
to respect others
to trust people
to honor traditions

When my children are older, I hope to be their best friend, like my mother is to us

I want to be like her, there would be no greater achievement.

Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you.


Eliza said...

What a sweet tribute!

My favorite is the sunburn comment, although I don't know about mac'n'cheese with spam...yikes!!

Pam, you are such a great mom!

Pam said...

Oh my gosh, Katie. If I am even half of those things, then I have succeeded in being the Mom I always wanted to be. By the way, Eliza, have you ever tried mac'n'cheese with Spam. Truly a taste treat! Love you Katie

Beth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beth said...


Also, I can personally vouch for the mac n cheese with spam. Although I have only had Pam's version and I think I will stick with only having hers :)