Suddenly I See

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

If I am done watching Fraiser I may as well Blog. You're welcome!

I love this blog. I love to write. 

I love to sit and do nothing. I love to watch tv. (Just finished 11 seasons of Fraiser, it's an accomplishment, really).

Writing makes me feel happy and stretches my mind. Watching tv is so easy and not thought provoking (most of the time anyway).

I am not busy so there should be time for both but I just don't get over here to my blog that often anymore. No particular reason. 

There are times that I have a physical need to write like if I don't write something down it will stay inside of me and consume me until I get it out. When it is out I can move on from obsessing about what it is that needed to come out. So maybe the answer is I just haven't had that many thoughts consuming me. Maybe the answer is I haven't been writing because I just haven't felt the need to. But a lot goes on in my head. All my problems and worries are in my head which I never felt was valid until my beloved Eliza told me one time that if all your problems are in your head that's still a big deal. And it is. It still matters. They aren't problems of the magnitude that a lot of people have but it can be hard. And letting go has never been my strong suit. It's better. I can go weeks without getting upset about certain relationships within my family. When I have to deal with it then it comes firing back but for me to be able to push it aside for weeks is an accomplishment. One that I thought I may never achieve.

In letting go it frees my mind and maybe that's why I don't have as many thoughts to express here. And it's the Internet so I can't freely write what I would have flow from my mouth all the time. I always joke when people ask me about how something in my life is going that they are probably sorry they stuck a nickel in me. Because I can talk and talk and talk. And it's nice. I have to get my feelings out. But talking doesn't always have the organization that writing has. Talking is good for my soul and writing is good for my soul.

There are a couple of thoughts I have had read lately that I keep mulling over so I thought I would share them here. I love quotes and thought provoking statements so I always like to share.

“It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind.”
― C.S. Lewis

When I read that above quote I just thought I can't necessarily pinpoint how this applies to my life but God it just does. It's so profound to me that I can't really even put into words how it makes me feel other than to say that it applies it so many ways.

I saw the below tweet and even though so simple it really spoke to me.

"Compassion is the ultimate expression of your highest self."

I have to say whenever I start feeling bad about the way I have acted, or the things I have said, or the way I have treated others it's because I haven't remembered to be compassionate. I haven't acted out of compassion for another person. It's hard to forget yourself and see where someone else is coming from. It shouldn't be so hard. But I guess just like watching tv is easier than writing, it's easier for me to say what I feel I need to say rather than have compassion for what the person who has to hear it is going through. 

I have arrived at this odd point where I have concluded that it is better for me to keep my mouth shut as to not say anything rude. But maybe what I should be doing is open my mouth and say something nice. Say something encouraging.

I mean I am not perfect but others should be is the logic and that logic is illogical. It's been a bit of revelation to me, a simple one really, that if I want to feel good about myself, about what I say to others, about how I act, about what I can do for others all that I really need to have is compassion for another human being. It is easy for me to say that I don't have to act kindly if I am not being treated kindly but maybe the secret has always been that the gift of compassion isn't that others will treat you in kind but that you will feel at peace because of the way that you have cared. 

"Compassion is the ultimate expression of your highest self."

My highest self- when I can feel closest to God. Where there is love there is God. Maybe where there is compassion there is God.

Another tweet- seriously what was my life before twitter? Where did I get my philosophical and spiritual thoughts from? And 140 characters is just the pint sized spirituality I need.

"Your higher self is eternally connected to God, and thus always loves you, and sees the goodness within you."

And so everyday when I feel that maybe I didn't do the best at life that day I know that I have a higher self and I have a God and they both want me to do better but they both love me when I don't. And that's all the compassion I need and that's the compassion I need to show other people. 

It's like my Mom always says "people are really just doing the best they can". It's true in the way that there are more good people than bad. And there are. People are so good. 

And this post may have gotten away from me. This is what happens when you feel like you don't need to write and then you sit down and you realize maybe your bones have been aching and your shoulders a little tense because you hadn't been writing.

I will close this post with another great quote.

"As long as we have compassion for others and conduct ourselves with restraint out of a sense of responsibility we will be happy."

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