Suddenly I See

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Is this thing on?

Sometimes I see things on Facebook (or other places on the Internet) that make me crazy. Such were the times this morning when I saw a picture that someone posted of some duck guy in camouflage with some quote that was attributed to him (that he probably never said) and the quote said something to the affect that one can not accept someoneelse's "lifestyle" but still "love" them. There is nothing like the word lifestyle to make me want to scream.


I read an article yesterday and saw pictures of a "Stand for Life" rally that took place in D.C. I was instantly proud of myself because it didn't make me see red. I think it's a sign of maturity. I think the bottom line is that while I don't agree with their goal I understand it.

I think there are a lot of other things that could be done to reduce abortion rather than abolish it. And I think it would be a horrible thing if abortion was made illegal. But, maybe for the first time I understood that these people want to live in a world where abortion isn't necessary and maybe we just approach that different. But I could appreciate their feelings and their reasoning and as silly as it may sound it took me a long time to get to this place. 

This was a milestone for me because I could see it from their view. And by that, I mean the view of the women out their marching who truly care about other women, not the politicians who are only looking out for themselves.


And these two issues will always be where I live. People are passionate about different things and this is it for me. I can't not care about these things. As much as I try to not get riled up- it is who I am. And that's okay.

And it's okay if other people disagree with me.

The thing is I was never raised with or cultivated the thought that because something was good for me it was good for everyone. And I get that this statement may sound contradictory to everything I have said. So I should clarify- I don't care if you have a different opinion than me. I care that one person's opinion trumps another person's life decisions.

If you don't like gay marriage then my feeling is this- don't get gay married. You will never convince me that gay marriage hurts the sanctity of marriage. And it shouldn't be up to you. Or me. Just because you don't like something should never take away that possibility for another.
And when it comes to abortion- if your against it, don't have one. Don't get raped. Don't be in a horrible relationship that you could never put a child in. But don't take a way that necessity from someone else.

You may not agree with any of the choices or way another person is but it's not up to you to control.


Two months ago we were in New York. We were with my cousin, Matt and his boyfriend, spending a beautiful long weekend. It was an amazing weekend. And there was a point in this weekend that provided such a moment of clarity for me. It was a clarity I wasn't even searching for. We were at a karaoke bar somewhere in the city and we were surrounded by Matt, David, and their friends. And it never ceases to amaze me when people form real friendships seemingly out of nowhere, and then those friends become family. And I could tell that's what this group was. And a feeling washed over me as I watched these guys sing Justin Beiber and Usher and more songs than I could count. The feeling was this- that how many times in your life, how many people are you with that you can truly be yourself around? And it provided me this truth- that if all of these people who proclaim to love gay people but don't agree with their "lifestyle" or even people who think that being gay is a choice could be in that room then they would truly know what acceptance and love is. And instead of feeling sad for my cousin  (as I sometimes do because it hurts that people would judge him for one aspect of his life, of his amazing character, of who he is) because people may choose to not accept his "lifestyle" I felt sad for those people who don't get to know Matt and people like him because of the walls they have put up. I felt sad for those people because they may never be in a room like that to feel that amazing love and freedom and acceptance. And I felt lucky because in my life I know Matt and I don't have to fear what I don't know.

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